Hiessss!!!!!!!! Sorrrry, I said that I would post pictures of some new decorations I got for my new room. I have only got two so far. But I have lost the charger for my camera, and the battery is dead. I will go and buy a new one sooooooon. Anies.....update......I went to an appointment to see about volunteer opportunities at a LGBT center in the city. I was coming from my internship, which is verrry far from the city, plus I had to stop home and grab some nicer clothes for the city, since I was planning on hanging out in the city since I would be there. I ended up being late for the appointment, so I am scheduling for another time for the interview.
Oh wellllllssss. Anyway, a while ago, this guy that offered to be my wingman for going out to gay bars was actually going out that night, and offered for me to go with him and some others!!!! Yay!!!!!!!!! Of course I said yes, I am shy, introverted, and have zilch for self confidence/esteem, but I realllllly want to get out there. I have not ever been to a gay bar before...really wanted to do it....so I could be more me. We stopped at a popular gay bar, but they were doing a two-step (country dancing) night. I cannot dance at all, so I sure as heck did not want to try that. We went to a different gay bar, and met up with some friends of my new friend. We hung out at the the bar, which had a dance floor. We stayed there for a few hours.Omg omg omg, It was soooooooooo much funnnnnnn!!!!!!!!!! I had a blast. No, I did not dance, nor did I talk with anyone that I did not come with..... nor did I hook up with anyone. I wish that I had, now that I am sitting here.... but as I have said, my self confidence is a corpse. It was soooo nice though. I could be completely me without worrying about ANYTHING!!!! It equaled awesomenessssss. Do not know if anyone was interested in me while I was there. I would have probably not known if there had been anyways. The person would have had to do it cave-man style, and had rainbow tassles on the end of his club....for me to actually take the hint, lol. I have never had a boy friend or a girlfriend, and all of my likes, have ended in me being too shy....plus my issues during highschool always got in the way.....or some other instances which pretty much taught me that I am butt ugly. Sorrrry, that was a rant. It was a lot of fun, even though nothing really happened. I am hoping to go out again with this guy and some of his friends. It is hard to do with the full time internship being so far from the city, and being in graduate school, but I do not want to wait anymore...I am done waiting.....so I will make time....somehow.
Its great that you've finally got out there and can be youself :) Althugh, are the gay-bars as ... interesting ... as they are pourtrayed in films and stuff? i have never been and probably wont do for quite some time, so was curious haha.
ReplyDeleteBut as for the gf/bf dilema, just be yourself. If someone asks to dance or buy you a drink ... DO IT! you could even make some kind of comment/joke about how you cant dance, then they are aware of it and will likely find it cute :P You may even got some dancing lessons ;) haha, but seriously, just have fun and dont focus on these things. You will feel more comfortable in the long run, and if someone likes you enough for a relationship, then they will approach you.
Have fun! Jack xx
Aww... Sweetheart!! What a great post!!! lol I want to give you a big bear hug after that, and remind you that these things take time... One of your most endearing qualities is your shyness... Your accounts of the gay club experiences remind me of the days way back when I made a few ventures into that scene, far from home, and lonely... I was with noone, and, a nervous wreck. It would have been a blessing to have someone to go with, but, I knew very few guys in town, and, the ones I did, while very cute, were mostly str8 or so deep in the closet they couldn't/wouldn't find the knob on that door for many years, some, after marrying... But, that's a whole other story!! lol
ReplyDeleteI love your 'rant', and the caveman with the rainbow colored tassels...lol.. I'm still laughing about that, kid!!
I also can't wait to see what your start at decorating has yielded!! And, I'm really happy to hear that you volunteered for work at the LGBT center!! Good for you!! I think it will really help with your self confidence!! As far as the 'ugly' thing is concerned-- listen, this comes from an expert... I grew up as a very cute kid (I'm told, and, the pictures from my boyhood bear this out) until I hit my adolescent years and broke out into bouts of very severe acne, that destroyed my self confidence, and made me feel even less... this on top of being a freak (the definition of gay, in those days). I eventually decided that I had to learn to believe in myself despite that. My parents had no resources to deal medically with it. So, I live with the scarring, and, consider it a reminder of days past, the best that I can. My friends look past it, and, love me, nonetheless. Move on, kid!! You're a great guy, I can tell!! Let the world find out!! luv, tman<3